My Biggest Burger Pet Peeve

I guess I could have used several other titles for this post:
How To Ruin A Good Hamburger”
“Why, Why, Why Did You Do This”
“Have You Gone Completely Mad

OK, so what am I talking about you might ask? There are things that make a good hamburger, and I’m not talking about a McDonald’s, Burger King or Sonic burger…I’m referring to good ole American backyard style burgers. You know, those burgers like you’d make on that old Weber Grill in your backyard, but get them at these non-chain and Mom and Pop joints. You know the kind with the crispy burnt edges, highly seasoned burgers (and cheeseburgers) “dressed” with fresh crispy white onions and dill pickle chips. YEP, DILL PICKLES! Not delicatessen or bread & butter pickles.

Yep, this post is specifically about DILL PICKLES. Hamburger dills, good ole sliced wavy HAMBURGER DILLS. I’m not here to bash deli-style pickles…I’m sure they have their place in the food world, but really who the heck started using them on burgers…Julia Childs, Gordon Ramsay or some other high end chef? Deli pickles do NOT belong on a hamburger. They just don’t belong there, maybe you could put a couple on a grill cheese, or a club sandwich, but keep them off that beautifully encrusted slab of beef between two buns called a HAMBURGER.

Several times over the past few years I have eaten at one of these restaurants, cafes or small burger places where the burger itself was pretty good, I mean the bun was fresh and the meat was a high quality tender beef devoid of gristle. But apparently someone wanted to reinvent the wheel and RUINED the all American hamburger by making it “dainty” and high classed. The American Hamburger deserves an old fashioned hamburger dills strategically placed on top of the beef patty. Even the jar of pickles for burgers is marketed as HAMBURGER DILL CHIPS.

I’m going on this rant today because I ordered burger here in Searcy (locally), and although it was not nearly as good as a “David’s Burger”, it was still pretty decent and looked great. But when I bit into it, a big ole chunk of deli pickle came out of the burger. It completely ruined the flavor of this burger, I wanted to send it back to the cook and tell them to slap a real pickle on that bitch! Heck, even Lee Ann took off the pickles on her burger. A deli pickle just does not compliment the flavor profile of a good all American hamburger the way a hamburger dill enhances the flavor.

To all you restaurants, cafes, burger joints out there…Use real dill pickle chips. Do not use deli pickles STOP THIS BEHAVIOR. JUST DON’T DO IT ANYMORE. I mean is it a money thing, are dill chips more expensive than the deli pickles…if so, then charge me more, but don’t sacrifice the taste of your food over a few cents. If you can’t do hamburger dill chips…lie to the customer and tell them you are out of pickles. Don’t make me angry, you won’t like it when I get angry (in my best Incredible Hulk voice).

(Final note: If I’m paying for a burger, don’t serve it to me with the vegetables sitting on the bun top and condiments in a packages…just DON’T). I paid to have my hamburger “DRESSED” BY YOU, so dress the burger when you make it).

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